Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones shines down to let us know they are with us.

I was watching the end credits of a movie tonight and I saw the title 'best boy'. Kind of a funny title, especially since it's so non descriptive. Other titles are pretty self explanatory, producer, grip #4, whore on street #3, but best boy doesn't really say much about the guy. What is he best at? Is it always a he? I guess I could just google it but that would take all the fun out of pondering about it. So for now . . . I ponder.

I had second birthday dinner tonight with my second family. For some reason I have been fictionally adopted into my friend Julie's family. It's nice there. I enjoy my other family. They took me to J.Bucks. The place has the most AMAZING sweet potato's. They are maple and crack infused. OK, maybe no crack. I tried to make the maple sweet potato's after my last visit there and was unsuccessful. I guess I should have figured that their maple infusion was not adding Mrs. Butterworths to sweet potato's but I was trying to take the easy way out, hoping to be right. Just to let you know, I was wrong, very wrong, never try that.

Another kind of funny story about my life is as follows:

I was at the duty free shop in a Rome airport back in 2003. I found the most amazing perfume. It was just glorious. It became my special occasion perfume. I got so many compliments on it, aseptically from men. I noticed that I was running low the other day so I went to the Internet to find more. Here is where the story gets funny, I promise. As it turns out, Versace Dreamer, my perfume, is actually a men's cologne. Yup, that's right. For years on special occasions I have been splashing some men's cologne on me. It would explain the compliments from men. What might be even funnier is that knowing it's a man's cologne might not stop me from buying another bottle. I mean, I have gotten away with it for this long. It doesn't seem manly to me.

I'm a disaster kids. Honestly, a disaster.

I also am currently torn over a situation. A good friend's mom is dying of cancer. It's not pretty,. I feel like I should be offering her these amazing words of wisdom to help her. But all I can think about is how much it sucked with my dad was dying, and how bad I feel that she is experiencing that. I want to give her comforting words but the truth is there is nothing you can say. Believe it or not Hallmark card writers, nothing can comfort or easy the pain that is about to be inflicted onto that person. Sorry writers. The best I can come up with is, it happens. A terrible thing to say but it's the reality of the situation. Maybe I am just cold to it all, but what else can I do. I remember sitting in a class towards the end of my senior year of high school. (my dad died 10 days after i graduated high school, so at this point in my senior year he was pretty much a shell.) A guy, Zach Johnson was giving his farewell speech and in it he said, 'life happens, people die, you move on.' (Zach had lost both his mom and his dad at a younger age, maybe 12 or so.) Upon hearing this I immediately began to cry shouting, 'why did he have to say people die!?' I didn't realize it then because it was pre-death, but that s what happens. People die, you move on. What a sick fucked up world we live in.