I knew what this weekend was bringing me, but I didn't want to think about it till I got this email from my mom. This weekend is the 1-2 combo I dread all year long. It not only is the 3 year anniversary of my dad's death, but also Father's Day. Splendid.
I was purposely making plans this weekend to avoid thinking about it, but then I read this,
"Sarah and Colin went down to the cemetery and put an invitation(for her wedding) on dad's grave."
Way to bring it all back mom.
It kind of shocked me since I was really starting to think that Sarah(NBS) didn't have a heart or soul. I figured that she sold both of them to pay for her wedding.
It is strange to think that it was 3 years ago. It really does feel like ages. If I want to think about it, the memories are extremely vivid of that night. Nothing else that I have done or been through comes back like that night. The days that followed are a blurb. I recall a cookie cake, a quart of Captain and Coke, and a forest of flowers at my house.
I feel really bad not being there with my family this weekend. It is an awkward time anyway cause we all just kind of sit there in silence and wait for one of us to crack and start to cry. Once the first one goes, we all follow rather quickly.
I don't even have a picture of my dad with me. There is one in my bracelet locket, but the clasp on that broke and I refused to take it off, so I super glued it shut. I thought that I pack one, but I guess not. This sucks.
On the upside, whilst walking home today I found a pence heads up. I mean that has got to mean something, right?
Oh shit, here comes the tears again. . .
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2 comments:
It's alright that you don't have a picture... just close your eyes and think of some of the best times you had with your dad. You'll be able to hear his voice and see his face and that's far better than a picture. I also can't believe it's been 3 years... time is a funny thing.
Hey hot stuff, I can't believe it's June, let alone the fact that you've got to deal with this again. My heart and soul go out to you and yours once again, as I know it's absolutely terrible on you. I only wish that I could have had the relationship with my dad that you had with yours. Crying is okay and I would suggest it wholly. BTW, when did NBS get a conscience?
Yeah, you know I can't be totally serious...
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